Getting out of debt does not happen accidentally. Well,
even if it does happen accidentally (like a person winning
the lottery) debt problems are rarely solved unless and
until the person with the debt starts to think about the
debt in a different way.
First, you have to admit you have a debt. Believe it or
not, this a stumbling block to many people who prefer to
live in denial (it's cheaper) than debt. But denial will
eventually crack under your feet and plunge you into the
icy waters of reality. Size up your debt.
How do you do that? Take a pencil and paper and start to
write down all of your debt. You may have to call the
toll-free numbers on your various credit cards and look up
phone numbers on varies statements. Write down all of your
debts and add them together.
Don't look away, even if the number is scary. You need to
know the truth. Sometimes it takes a scary number to get
our full attention!
Second, you have to "own" your debt. A lot of people act
like their debt belongs to someone else. And maybe it did,
in a way! Some people come into overwhelming debt because
they wound up with the debts of a spouse (or ex-spouse).
Some people end up paying off the debts of family members.
Others got into debt when a house burned down or the family
suffered a medical problem. You might get into debt over
posting bond for a loved one.
No matter how you wound up with the debt, you have to
recognize it as your own. You have to take responsibility
for it.
There are lots of reasons that people get into debt. Even
if you just overspent your way into debt, you probably had
a lot of good reasons for what you did. Maybe you had a lot
of debt left over from your college days. Maybe you were
under a lot of emotional stress and found "retail therapy"
helped. Maybe you just did not understand money. I know a
woman who wound up paying off a lot of debt she got herself
into while in the "manic" phase of undiagnosed
manic-depressive illness.
You may have reasons, and that's not the point. The point
is: the debts are yours. Take responsibility for them.
You won't ever get out of debt till you admit that you (not
anybody else) have debt.
Third, you need to forgive your creditors. That sounds very
weird, but have you ever noticed that in the Bible, it
talks a lot about "sin" and "debt" being related? The
Lord's prayer, for instance, in some Bible translations
talks about asking God to "forgive us our debts as we
forgive our debtors." In financial terms, overlooking a
debt means to "forgive" it.
You probably got into financial trouble because of some
other trouble. Whether it was a failed marriage, a natural
disaster, disease, devastation, mental illness, or just
plain getting through a "rough patch," you probably need to
go back and forgive the other people involved.
Let's say you're heavily in debt because you owe child
support. And let's say that there is a lot of pain still
attached to the relationship that brought that child into
the world. Maybe you even feel tricked or cheated into
paying the child support. And it could be genuinely unfair.
Forgive everybody involved. Forgive the other parent of
your child, forgive your child, forgive the family of the
other parent, forgive the state, and forgive the judge who
made the ruling.
Forgiveness does not mean that you agree that what they did
was right. Forgiveness does not mean you like what was done
or that you approve of what was done. Forgiveness means you
accept it and you refuse to carry around that wasteful
anger and animosity any more.
What happened may or may not have been fair, but that's not
the point. It's happened and you are ready to get past it.
That's forgiveness.
Fourth, you need to make a conscious choice to get out of
debt. A lot of people are digging themselves deeper and
deeper into debt not because they want to, they just have
not decided to stop digging! Make a decision.
Getting of debt involves one big decision (that's the easy
part) and hundreds of smaller, daily decisions (that's the
tough part). If you need to, find a way to remind yourself
of getting debt free. Maybe you can write it on a paper and
stick it on your desk, in the car, or on your bathroom
mirror. You can make up a mantra for yourself and just say,
"I'm going to get out of debt" whenever you need to and
even some times when you don't need to. Don't buy anything
new, but if you have a ring or bracelet or something
special, you can wear that and use it to remind yourself
that it is the symbol of your decision to get over your
debt.
Fifth, stop the bleeding. Most debt is a result of a lot of
small wounds. Stop as many as you can. This means you have
to look for them. A few debt areas will be obvious. Do what
you can to stop digging yourself into debt. But search out
other ways that money is slipping through your fingers.
Don't be afraid to be zealous. Zealous, passionate people
are the ones who can beat debt. Quit the gym, don't eat out
so much, cancel cable TV, start shopping the garage sale
circuit. Many of us get riled up at some of those
prospects, but they are all viable strategies. They work.
I'm not saying you have to do all of them or any of them
but you need to stop as much hemorrhaging as possible.
Sixth, get a plan. It does not seem to be as important to
use a specific plan as it is to use any plan. You need a
system. One good one is to line up your debts and start
paying them off. Pick your highest interest debt first and
devote every spare cent to paying it off. Then proceed from
there.
You can also try debt consolidation where you roll a lot of
higher-interest debt together into one larger debt at more
favorable terms.
Certified credit counselors are available locally (check
out http://www.nfcc.org) or online. There are valuable
books and courses on money management. Figure it out, get
help, or work with somebody. But you need a game plan.
Seventh, keep on. Getting out of debt is a bit like losing
weight: it takes hard work, dedication, and just dogged
day-after-day persistence.
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If you or a loved one are facing overwhelming debt, get
information on debt consolidation at
http://www.debt-consolidation-diva.com .
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